And the ineviteable has happened....

...I went a little PMS overboard tonight, what a shock. I am now in a state of anger/sadness for no reason. I'm also tired, but that's because I slept for 6 hours and then worked for 10 hours on my boss' 2 million dollar grant that is paying part of my salary. Speaking of salary, apparently I made about 16,000 last year according to my W2s. Not too bad for a college student for almost half the year.

Wow I'm really getting away from the topic at hand (hmm loss of concentration anyone?) and the topic at hand is that I really hate being like this. It's so annoying that I randomly started crying at work tonight while Barb and Arick pretend like they're not thinking "what the hell is wrong with her" and I tried to explain why I was crying and there was no explanation. Well I was talking to Andrew and trying to get him to come to my apt tonight. His car is in the garage being worked on so I would have had to pick him up, which apparently he has giant problems with. So we argued on the phone for like 20 minutes with him saying he didn't want me to pick him up and me saying it was no problem I didn't care about it, and him still saying he didn't want me to pick him up. Well it was fine until he said something like "I just want to sit in my room and play my game" which made me start crying. Instead of logically thinking that he felt bad about not having a car and not being able to drive I was thinking that he just didn't want to see me at all so then the tears came. This is the reason I hate most girls, we all act like stupid bitches at some point. So he noticed I was crying, then he felt bad, then I felt more stupid, then I just wanted to get off the phone so I just hung up and went home by myself. It's not like I don't see the guy every night, it really shouldn't be that big of a deal. He is like a drug that combats my moodiness and I guess since I'm not seeing him it's not going away, so right now I'm laying in bed fighting to keep my eyes open, wondering why I have a headache and wanting to cry, but I won't. There is no reason for it, so I refuse to do it.

God I'm tired. I need to wrap this up. Some girl on my buddy list had this in her profile and I really liked it so I will post it for all to see: enjoy and good night

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.

Comments

Sophia said…
Don't worry, you are just insane and should break up with your boyfriend because he didn't do good things. HA! you snow angel of death, I showed you! I am going to go jump off my porch right now in a suicidal rage and make a snow angel and it will ber Andrew. (this will only make vague sense to Andrew and erica)

But I probABLY WON'T DO A SYMBOLIC SUICIDE GUESTURE BECAUSE IT IS COLD AND i AM NOTsuicidal. I chate it when I type caps lock rather than shiftg

read my blog, I wrote about you. Thsanks for the ride

I will have to post when I am awakr and sober.

sorry
1:33 AM, January 29, 2005
Sophia said…
Sorry, it was the booze and only the booze talking. That and Andrews comment.
6:01 PM, February 01, 2005
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