One provision before I go into a psychological rant: the Gala was actually on a saturday, not a friday, I mixed up my days....not a big deal though.
Okay so I was just analyzing myself (I analyze everyone all the time, including myself, it's a psyc major thing) and I've realized that I'm afraid to be a part of the real world. I've taken to living my life through movies, and it's really really hard to get out of sometimes. Usually when things are going okay for me in the real world I don't resort to my movie obsession thing, but this whole year has been one big stress-fest and right now I'm in movie mode. I've been avoiding the little work that's been assigned to me, it doesn't help that 2 out of 3 classes are movie classes, and very recently I've been a regular bitch to Pat (well that might be because of something else).
This isn't really a recent thing though. Ever since I could remember I'd have dreams where I thought something was really happening to me but then at the end of the dream I found out I was really in a movie, then I'd watch myself through a tv. I've had many many dreams like that. It just sucks because then you just want life to imitate it, but that doesn't happen and then you get disappointed.
I dont really know how to make things better without avoiding movies alltogether, but then there'd still be books. I got so into Harry Potter when I was reading it over break that I'd have dreams about it every night that I read it. I guess some people use drugs and alcohol to escape life, I use the arts. It just sucks, that's all.
Okay so I was just analyzing myself (I analyze everyone all the time, including myself, it's a psyc major thing) and I've realized that I'm afraid to be a part of the real world. I've taken to living my life through movies, and it's really really hard to get out of sometimes. Usually when things are going okay for me in the real world I don't resort to my movie obsession thing, but this whole year has been one big stress-fest and right now I'm in movie mode. I've been avoiding the little work that's been assigned to me, it doesn't help that 2 out of 3 classes are movie classes, and very recently I've been a regular bitch to Pat (well that might be because of something else).
This isn't really a recent thing though. Ever since I could remember I'd have dreams where I thought something was really happening to me but then at the end of the dream I found out I was really in a movie, then I'd watch myself through a tv. I've had many many dreams like that. It just sucks because then you just want life to imitate it, but that doesn't happen and then you get disappointed.
I dont really know how to make things better without avoiding movies alltogether, but then there'd still be books. I got so into Harry Potter when I was reading it over break that I'd have dreams about it every night that I read it. I guess some people use drugs and alcohol to escape life, I use the arts. It just sucks, that's all.
Comments