A Leg Grows in C Minor

This is my tarot reading for today: Things are very uncertain in your personal life today and you’ll have to be cautious, dear Erica… Death suggests a break with a certain aspect of your past. Someone you love may be drifting away from you, whether you realize it or not… Don’t rely too much on good luck to sort out problems in the emotional sphere. Face up to your responsibilities: you can make the Wheel of Fortune turn in your favor. In the professional context, you might undergo a big transformation or opt for a radical change in your work routine. Under the influence of the card of Death, today is a day of change and mutation, whether you want it or not. The day might bring a breakup or the need to abandon a project that is no longer feasible. All this is probably not going to be that easy. It will require flexibility, but you know very well that you need to finish a chapter before you can start on a new one.

Okay I'm posting this because Catharine is having a conniption (yes I used that word, I spent all day talking to a Jewish guy). So I am officially single. Yes, bring on the dudes. (Charles don't think I don't remember that SN) No seriously last night I basically told Andrew that I was guarding myself against him after saturday (we broke up for an hour on saturday). And not guarding like he was gonna hurt me, but from feeling emotions towards him. Last night I told him this, and also that I felt a need to see a particular other person who I talk to often but am never in a physical presense of. (ooooh mysterious) I didnt' mean that I needed to be "with" this guy or whatever I just want to see him, hang out with him, maybe use my mouth to talk to him instead of my fingers (now THAT sounds bad). Well Andrew said that me thinking about this other guy so much wasn't good for our relationship and that if I really loved Andrew I wouldn't feel like I do ...

When you pose for makeout pictures with them.....

I figure I better do this while I'm in semi-okay spirits because I feel like later I won't want to do anything. So last night Andrew and I were still not okay, but we decided to go out to Ben's party together anyway. We met up with Chris and Maura and all drove to Brockport. We randomly see Arick and his ex-girlfriend in the parking lot (wtf Arick are you guys dating again?) and all go in together. We get in and I'm already in a friendly mood, even though I hadn't had anything to drink yet. So I'm all "hi" to just about everyone I see. Ben shows me to the coat closet that he says will make my coat smell like ass, and I'm like "sweet that's exactly what I want my coat to smell like" and then we really get down to business, Castle. Now Castle just may be the best drinking game ever invented. Okay well Asshole is very high on my list too but anyway, what you do is get in a line like you're playing flip cup. Even numbers on both...

I feel like shit right now. Physically, emotionally, blah. And I'm at work. And it's 4 in the morning. I just want to go to sleep, I've wanted to go to sleep since 9pm tonight. Let me go back and explain. I felt good for most of the day today. I was a little tired from randomly having to go into work last night, but I'm getting 8 hrs of overtime this week which means at least 100 extra dollars in my paycheck, so I could handle that. Then Andrew gets worried at work, and needs to talk to me. I say we can talk when he gets home. He gets home, we talk. I say I don't think I'm in love with him anymore, but I still love him. I want to do things with him, hang out, have fun, but I don't feel a need to kiss him or really be intimate. So my logical conclusion is that we should probably break up. Now in all the discussions we're having I keep using the words "probably" or "I think" or "I feel like" because I am so fucking...

Michael apparently likes it when I'm assertive with him, in the meeting today he seemed impressed with me and actually has been laughing at my jokes lately. Maybe I'm just THAT good. Apparently HE is that good as well, I guess he's the David Hasselhoff of sleep research, in that he's pretty famous in Germany. He IS one of the leading insomnia researchers, and does interviews with people all over the country for books and tv things. So...that's pretty cool too. I talked to Catharine on the phone the other night, and I saw Cindy all weekend. It feels good to talk to old friends, even if they do remind me of the laid-backness of how the lab used to be. Andrew and I had another discussion about our relationship last night. Apparently now it's he who is having the problems, even though I'm very much not out of the woods. Everything will work out eventually, it's just taking forever. And a note to Tim, you think you're so smart and know exactly wha...

I feel like I drank 3 shots of espresso. Actually I don't drink coffee so I don't even know if that's a lot, but the point is, I am fucking WIRED (which I just took 3 times to spell right because I'm typing so fast). Why you ask? I was very tired before work so a concerned Andrew gave me a little magic pill that made me stay up all night (Xenadrine). Why did I take it? Now that is the REAL question. A girl who hasn't gained weight since high school because of her strange metabolism takes a weight loss pill. Good fucking idea. I really really want to have a race with someone right now. Where the hell is Ben when you need him anyway? At least I have Pat here to keep me from running laps around the lab a million times. He is usually extremely hyper as well though so it's probably not a good combination. But I'm not so bad that I can't still catch over 15 pennies off my elbows! And probably more! My record is 30, 15 on each elbow. (which I'm only mention...

at least at this moment: -Hot Sauce -Nathan Fillion -Randomness -Reno 911 -The words "defunct" and "albeit" -Red Stripe -90.5 college radio -Horoscopes -My new corset shirt I'm dying to wear -The Slow Clap Who am I kidding...I'll always love randomness : )

Seriously, I'm not a superstitious person normally, I don't go around believing everything that psychics say, and I didn't really believe in ghosts until a little while ago (even though I haven't heard from my dead cleaning lady friend in awhile). So lately I've been going to msn.com's horoscope section. I normally dont' pay any attention to the generic horoscope that they put up, but I like the tarot card thing because you can kinda put your energy into the answers and say that it worked because you're actually doing something. So since last week they've all been really, crazily, right on. Even for work, like tomorrow it says "Long-term projects that you have been working on are apt to kick into forward gear today, Erica." And we're starting this hugely long study tomorrow where I'll pretty much be working straight from friday-monday and that I've been planning for since december. Okay that's not real...

Well I was cleaning the control room the other day, getting rid of miscellaneous papers that were laying around, when I found a magazine on top of the mailboxes. I looked at the page that was open, and lo and behold this is what I see: In case you are too lazy to blow the pic up bigger....it's ME! I felt famous, then I realized it was just the magazine that the Cancer Center puts out. The picture is from the time I was on the news though, and let me tell you I was loving that day. I begged for Michael to pick me for the tech that was gonna be on the news and he actually listened! Anyway I already wrote that whole blog entry so moving on... Sooooo I believe at least one person is patiently awaiting my pole-dancing experience story, I will relay that now. Saturday was a good day. Joe came up to hang out and strew video games/dvds all over the living room, Sue and Robert came up to go out to dinner (well Robert ALMOST went out with us), and then Sue, Andrew, and I went to Gabe a...

Not to be confused with Catharine's "Trying to be Positive" lists, because I'm not trying, I actually am pretty happy. Well I'm better today than I was on wednesday at least. Maybe it's because I'm getting what I want now, maybe it's because the weather is nice and I have S.A.D., who knows, really. So my current relationship situation is good, albeit very odd. Andrew not only isn't mad anymore, he actually wants me to talk to this guy, and was practically hitting on him himself yesterday. It sounds like overcompensation to me, but I'll go with it and see what happens. I'm pissed at my MSN horiscope and tarot reading though, for saying that I will get in a fight with Andrew on saturday because of my "lackluster relationship" and also saying that I will find happiness in a new friend/love interest. Stupid accurate horiscopes.... In other good news, they are dedicating a building in Geneva to my grandfather. Have I mentioned ho...

First of all....there is nobody at the lab right now. I have no idea why, it's the middle of the week and there should be at least one other person besides me here. Kind of unsettling, especially since a strange man came and stole Wil's wallet the other day. (and I actually saw him leaving) Second of all...I've been watching the all too good and all too cancelled show Firefly lately. There was a marathon last friday and I just finished all the episodes. I really liked it, something about cowboys in space intrigues me I guess. Plus the dialogue is great (thank you Joss Whedon) Plus plus the Cap'n is awesomely awesome. I think I'm gonna have to go buy Serenity (the movie that just came out based on the show) now. Thirdly...(I should just start numbering these paragraphs) sorry to anyone who may have gotten a really annoying virus from me on AIM. It definitely helped my blog get some traffic though (hi Abby!), and I ended up with a new myspace friend too. I...

....because I'd rather do it here than in a stupid chain email....and because I have to be at work but I can't think of anything to do. The basics Name- Erica S. Howard Age- 23 Height- 5'8 Weight- 127 Birthday- April 4, 1982 Birthplace- Geneva, NY Current Location-Rochester, NY School/Grade- out, baby Zodiac Sign- Aries: energetic and passionate, that's me Chinese Zodiac Sign- hmm dog I believe Righty or Lefty- righty but randomly lefty sometimes Haircolor- dark brown Eyecolor- green Skin Color- olive-ish About You What's Your Family Situation- 2 parents, 2 brothers Any Pets- my family does If So What Are They- 2 cats and a dog Favorite Relative- Lauren and Maria Least Favorite Relative- if we're going cousins I'll say Jason What's Your Heritage/Race- 50% Italian, 50% mutt Political Affilation- liberal Love & Sex Sexuality- straight...for the most part Are You In A Relationship Now- yes If So, With Who...

So Andrew and I were conversing last night, surprising since usually we're doing two different things in two different rooms all night, but we manage to have discussions about things before bed. Anyway, from previous conversations I had last night with Doug and Mike, I was thinking about "game". So I'm not sure really how it started, but I stated that I thought I had good game with getting guys to want to date me, which is much harder than getting them to want sex. So Andrew responds that girls can't really have game. According to him, every guy wants to have sex all the time, and even if you get a guy to want to date you, it's really the idea of having sex that attracted him in the first place. Now I'm perhaps overly romantic, at least in my head, and my idea of romance is someone secretly wanting to be with someone else for a long time and finally it comes out in a rush of emotion from both sides. (not that it's ever happened to me) The idea of...

So I didn't really talk about Christmas much or what I did in Geneva besides find out dirty secrets, play Italian Christmas songs, and watch Ken Watanabe heat up the screen. And I have some good pics from Christmas and New Years so I'll just smush it all together. First day I get to my parents' house I see the tree. The beautiful tree. Now you may not realize it from the picture, but this tree was in our yard surrounded by other taller pine trees. The only thing it could do to survive was reach up towards the sun. So all of the branches are pointed up. My dad thought it was great and said a new craze would catch on with them because you wouldn't get hurt poking around for presents. I thought it was just ugly. So I hung around for a night, went out with Joe, his cousin, and cousin's wife. We played a drunken game of "tell everyone what you love about them" and though Jordan (Joe's cousin's wife) barely knows me she said all this REALLY nice ...