And Then There was Simon, Part II
I wanted to write a couple of posts about my son before Mother's Day, even though I don't yet feel like a mother. I know I gave birth to a tiny little boy back in January, and he's been by my side ever since, but I still don't feel like a mother. I think when he starts speaking in a few months, maybe that will be when it will really hit me. That was one thing I've learned since January. You don't automatically transition from non-parent to parent in one fell swoop.
Here are some other things I've learned in just a few short months:
After staring at a baby 24/7, adults start to look really strange. At one point I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "How do I look so OLD?" Suddenly I could see wrinkles on every face, and all of the adults I interacted with had HUGE features. Big heads, hands, etc. I kept asking Mike why he looked so tall to me. I never expected that to happen. Even people on TV looked old to me. Thankfully it's mostly passed, which is good, because it was depressing.
I never knew how much I would miss restaurants. Mike and I went out quite often before having Simon, and now I dream of the day that he can eat solid food and sit in a high chair, so we can go out again. I've brought him out a few times, but it is hard when he has to sit in a stroller or car seat at the table, and you have to fumble with a bottle to feed him. I also miss seeing my friends on short notice, and the overall lack of responsibility I felt before I had a baby. Thankfully, these feelings are short lived when I see Simon's smiles.
Correctly parenting an infant is all about being the least amount of lazy you can be. I didn't realize how much work it takes to not start bad habits. In the hospital, they taught me how to lie next to Simon to feed him. When I got home, it was so much easier to just lie down on the couch or bed with him next to me to nurse, and then he would fall asleep and we could move him to his bassinet. Well fast forward 3 months, and he rarely falls asleep without nursing first. It works, so I keep doing it. But I know we will have to kick the habit soon, and it's going to be tough. He will eventually fall asleep if we sing and walk around with him for long enough, but I rarely have the patience to walk around and sing for a half hour straight, since he will wake up if we do it for less time.
I've learned to eat quickly. I've always been the slowest eater I've ever known, so eating quickly is not fun for me. But, with a crying baby fussing by your side, you let go of the enjoyment of food and just get it down quickly. Or you eat while the baby is nursing, which is precarious and uncomfortable, but it works.
Hormones are responsible for just about every feeling I ever have. It's not the best thing to have learned, and it makes me feel like I'm controlled by chemicals, but it's true. I wanted a baby more than anything in the universe, and now that I've had one, I don't feel the need to get pregnant again. This is because I am breastfeeding and haven't started my period again yet. Once that happens, the cycle will begin again. Unfortunately, as a side effect, I've been pretty much asexual for the past 3 months (or longer), and Mike is dealing with it admirably.
Speaking of hormones, I've learned that just because I have a baby, it doesn't make me a different person. I was never a head-in-the-clouds lovey dovey type of person. You know, the type that says "Life is precious and beautiful and my baby is the love of my life and my heart sings when I see him" and blah blah blah. It doesn't mean I don't feel love for my son. I do, tremendously. But I don't feel the need to spout off about it in flowery language.
Babies are not gross to their parents. That may be pretty obvious, but when Simon is drooling onto my face and slobbering on my hands and I find it cute, or when I reach under his diaper to remove it and get poop all over my hand and don't bat an eye, it really takes it to another level.
One thing that's great is the use of my time now. When the baby is sleeping, I don't lounge around and watch tv, like I did before. I do dishes, laundry, bills, and any other project that I'm afraid I'll never finish when he's awake. I actually accomplish much more now than before I had him!
I've learned that, as a parent, you look forward to everything. I keep thinking, "I'll be so happy when he sits up." or "I can't wait to take him to the movies or the playground for the first time!" I've also learned that this kind of thinking is going to make me wistful and nostalgic down the road. Simon is here NOW, and I need to be thankful for every awe-inspiring thing he does in the present, because I can already tell that he will be grown before I blink.
Here are some other things I've learned in just a few short months:
After staring at a baby 24/7, adults start to look really strange. At one point I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "How do I look so OLD?" Suddenly I could see wrinkles on every face, and all of the adults I interacted with had HUGE features. Big heads, hands, etc. I kept asking Mike why he looked so tall to me. I never expected that to happen. Even people on TV looked old to me. Thankfully it's mostly passed, which is good, because it was depressing.
I never knew how much I would miss restaurants. Mike and I went out quite often before having Simon, and now I dream of the day that he can eat solid food and sit in a high chair, so we can go out again. I've brought him out a few times, but it is hard when he has to sit in a stroller or car seat at the table, and you have to fumble with a bottle to feed him. I also miss seeing my friends on short notice, and the overall lack of responsibility I felt before I had a baby. Thankfully, these feelings are short lived when I see Simon's smiles.
Correctly parenting an infant is all about being the least amount of lazy you can be. I didn't realize how much work it takes to not start bad habits. In the hospital, they taught me how to lie next to Simon to feed him. When I got home, it was so much easier to just lie down on the couch or bed with him next to me to nurse, and then he would fall asleep and we could move him to his bassinet. Well fast forward 3 months, and he rarely falls asleep without nursing first. It works, so I keep doing it. But I know we will have to kick the habit soon, and it's going to be tough. He will eventually fall asleep if we sing and walk around with him for long enough, but I rarely have the patience to walk around and sing for a half hour straight, since he will wake up if we do it for less time.
I've learned to eat quickly. I've always been the slowest eater I've ever known, so eating quickly is not fun for me. But, with a crying baby fussing by your side, you let go of the enjoyment of food and just get it down quickly. Or you eat while the baby is nursing, which is precarious and uncomfortable, but it works.
Hormones are responsible for just about every feeling I ever have. It's not the best thing to have learned, and it makes me feel like I'm controlled by chemicals, but it's true. I wanted a baby more than anything in the universe, and now that I've had one, I don't feel the need to get pregnant again. This is because I am breastfeeding and haven't started my period again yet. Once that happens, the cycle will begin again. Unfortunately, as a side effect, I've been pretty much asexual for the past 3 months (or longer), and Mike is dealing with it admirably.
Speaking of hormones, I've learned that just because I have a baby, it doesn't make me a different person. I was never a head-in-the-clouds lovey dovey type of person. You know, the type that says "Life is precious and beautiful and my baby is the love of my life and my heart sings when I see him" and blah blah blah. It doesn't mean I don't feel love for my son. I do, tremendously. But I don't feel the need to spout off about it in flowery language.
Babies are not gross to their parents. That may be pretty obvious, but when Simon is drooling onto my face and slobbering on my hands and I find it cute, or when I reach under his diaper to remove it and get poop all over my hand and don't bat an eye, it really takes it to another level.
One thing that's great is the use of my time now. When the baby is sleeping, I don't lounge around and watch tv, like I did before. I do dishes, laundry, bills, and any other project that I'm afraid I'll never finish when he's awake. I actually accomplish much more now than before I had him!
I've learned that, as a parent, you look forward to everything. I keep thinking, "I'll be so happy when he sits up." or "I can't wait to take him to the movies or the playground for the first time!" I've also learned that this kind of thinking is going to make me wistful and nostalgic down the road. Simon is here NOW, and I need to be thankful for every awe-inspiring thing he does in the present, because I can already tell that he will be grown before I blink.
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