The Mortality of the Lab, The Averageness of Man, and The Love of Erica
I am very worried right now. I can't really mention the details of why I'm so worried, but let's just say that someone's life is in my hands as we speak and it's really not the best night for me to be working alone. The next time we have a Myotonic Dystrophy run I REFUSE to work the overnight by myself. I'm flat out refusing, right now, and to anyone's face if they ask me to do it.
Anyway in other news, I was thinking the other day that no matter how fucked up people think they are, there is always someone worse than them. This also happens to be true for people who think they're better than others at something. Now everyone knows this. But what I was thinking about is the degree to which people are bothered by it. Like if someone says that their life is so horrible and nobody could ever understand and blah blah, well unless you're The Elephant Man or Jeffrey Dahmer, chances are someone's got it worse off than you. Now does that statement make people feel better or worse about their situation? Me, I like to watch Jerry Springer because those people lead worse lives than I'll ever lead. But I don't think everyone is like that. I think some people want to be the extreme case, want that extra attention.
That's looking at the things you feel bad about. But what about the good things? When people my age show me up I get really annoyed. If I sit down and play Linus and Lucy by heart on the piano and someone else sits down and plays some fucking Mozart by heart I'd be pissed. I say my age because if it's someone like the best professor ever, Dr. Stanley, then I would bow down to her skills.
Andrew and Dead Like Me reminded me the other day that people aren't different. People can be grouped together by different personalities but people aren't snowflakes. I wonder if all the serial killers and professional sports players and Nobel Prize winners just wanted to break out of the mold of the average person, to show that they are the lone snowflake. But they still would have some competition for title of the world's best/worst whatever, and it's a never ending cycle of one-up-ance (yes I just made that into a word).
Well that was my deep thought for the day...errr night early morning whatever the fuck it is right now. Oh good I've wasted time with my blathering and now there's only 3.5 more hours til someone comes in to help me and I feel relief and way less pressure to not let someone die.
Oh completely out of nowhere.... I've been with Andrew for 6 months on sunday. Six fucking months and I still get depressed if I don't spend enough time with him (aka being in a crappy mood earlier tonight). I feel as if my former non-committal self has vanished away being in this relationship, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's a good thing for me because I know I'm really in love with someone for once. None of this guessing or settling bullshit. It's a ton scarier though because the higher you are, the harder you're gonna fall. I just won't think about that part of it I guess.
Anyway in other news, I was thinking the other day that no matter how fucked up people think they are, there is always someone worse than them. This also happens to be true for people who think they're better than others at something. Now everyone knows this. But what I was thinking about is the degree to which people are bothered by it. Like if someone says that their life is so horrible and nobody could ever understand and blah blah, well unless you're The Elephant Man or Jeffrey Dahmer, chances are someone's got it worse off than you. Now does that statement make people feel better or worse about their situation? Me, I like to watch Jerry Springer because those people lead worse lives than I'll ever lead. But I don't think everyone is like that. I think some people want to be the extreme case, want that extra attention.
That's looking at the things you feel bad about. But what about the good things? When people my age show me up I get really annoyed. If I sit down and play Linus and Lucy by heart on the piano and someone else sits down and plays some fucking Mozart by heart I'd be pissed. I say my age because if it's someone like the best professor ever, Dr. Stanley, then I would bow down to her skills.
Andrew and Dead Like Me reminded me the other day that people aren't different. People can be grouped together by different personalities but people aren't snowflakes. I wonder if all the serial killers and professional sports players and Nobel Prize winners just wanted to break out of the mold of the average person, to show that they are the lone snowflake. But they still would have some competition for title of the world's best/worst whatever, and it's a never ending cycle of one-up-ance (yes I just made that into a word).
Well that was my deep thought for the day...errr night early morning whatever the fuck it is right now. Oh good I've wasted time with my blathering and now there's only 3.5 more hours til someone comes in to help me and I feel relief and way less pressure to not let someone die.
Oh completely out of nowhere.... I've been with Andrew for 6 months on sunday. Six fucking months and I still get depressed if I don't spend enough time with him (aka being in a crappy mood earlier tonight). I feel as if my former non-committal self has vanished away being in this relationship, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's a good thing for me because I know I'm really in love with someone for once. None of this guessing or settling bullshit. It's a ton scarier though because the higher you are, the harder you're gonna fall. I just won't think about that part of it I guess.
Comments
but it's okay I love you too :-)