Pen-Ultimatum

    So...the covid 19 pandemic is STILL happening, because people are dumb and the virus is stubborn. None of my immediate family have gotten it...yet. Well my mom, brother, and sister-in-law got it last December, right before Christmas, which was not ideal. My brother lost his taste and smell for like 5 months afterwards, but luckily they were all alright. The vaccine came out about a month after that. I came VERY close to catching it about a month ago, and I mean like I was breathing the same air as an infected (non-vaccinated) person for hours. But the Pfizer vaccine I got in April must be still active in my system because I was spared. 

    This is not what I wanted to talk about today, and it's still a depressing subject, with most people knowing at least one person who has died from covid at this point. Oddly my former best friend Becky died in September 2020, but from liver failure, not covid. Even though I hadn't seen her in person in years, I had been messaging with her up until she went into a coma, and I've still been grieving her death even now a year later. But she does visit me in my dreams quite a bit, the last time being last week when she told me she was building a skate park in the afterlife. Anywaaaay, what I want to talk about instead of depressing shit is... my amazing life. If you just rolled your eyes, please leave now, as this will only get worse. 

    Ok, can't say I didn't warn you. So, I haven't mentioned Joe in this blog in awhile. Mostly because I only write in here once a year now and had only seen him sporadically in the last 5 years or so. But this year, he got MARRIED!! Just last week, actually. 

    He asked me to make a speech at his wedding, and I've never done a wedding speech before, so I went a little crazy with research, trying to write a good one. In doing my research, I read many, many entries from this blog's early days, and it was crazy how much I wrote about Joe. I mean, we've been best friends since sophomore year of high school so it's not that crazy, but reading those, along with hanging out with him quite a bit lately (his Bachelor party should be a whole other post, but we'll just say that gummies and hot tubs and home karaoke are awesome) made me a weird emotional wreck at his wedding to Jay last week. I usually only get nostalgic when I'm bored, and I have not had a chance to be bored in the past couple of years. After everyone I knew got vaccinated (well, most people) everyone made plans to meet up and hang out. It's well-known that I have too many friends, so it seems like every weekend in the summer and fall of 2021, we had plans. So there was 2020, with the kids home almost every day, then 2021, with social activities galore. It's been busy. Therefore, after looking at about a million entries from this blog and then seeing Joe's whole family at the wedding after hanging out with them 20 years ago then not seeing them for years, along with Joe all grown up and getting married, it was just too much nostalgia for me to handle. I was crying on and off for the entire wedding. 

    At one point I told Joe "I've never tried so hard not to cry at a wedding before."  So the smart-ass he is, says "Ok then cry. Cry right now. Go on." Aaaand I did. A lot. I just love him as a person so much, and we've been through so much together. It's rare for me to feel that way about someone, even people in my own family, but sometimes I feel like Joe is my family from a different life or something. I mean, look how adorable we both are in the photo booth:

    

    What does this have to do with anything? I realized in going through all of this, that time is something I need to conserve. I'm almost 40. I have two small children and somehow also have agreed to house a new puppy (a mutt rescue named Pumpkin) 

and some rats (Simon's birthday presents from last year, Moonlight and Shadow) along with our old cat.

    We will soon be putting an addition on our house for Mike's mom to live in, and all of these things make my time more precious. Furthermore, I've realized that getting things done from my mental "to do" list puts me in a better mood. So, doing the math, I need to get rid of some things that take up my time but are past their time. None of my friends keep blogs anymore, and truthfully I only write in this one for myself these days. Next year the blog will be 20 years old (!!). I will be 40, and I think it'll be a nice button to just stop writing in here forever. I started in September 2002, so I'll end in September 2022. 

    I've gone from being single in college, through all of my serious boyfriends, through moving to Brooklyn, getting married, moving again, buying a house, and having children, and I don't plan on changing my career anytime soon so I don't see how there's much left to write about. My life has ended up almost how I pictured it (a pool would be nice) and I can say I'm really content at this point. I will make this blog into a nice coffee table book so I can relive memories when I want to be nostalgic in the future, and that will make me happy. 

    Inara is now 2 and turning into a happy little chatterbox, and Simon is almost 8 and the best big brother I could have asked for. I want to be as present as I can for them during their childhoods, as time really does fly.