When I Grow Up I'll Be Stable
Ah December, the time for universal nostalgia. It's hard to have nostalgia when you're a kid, because your life just isn't long enough to think of like that. Really you're just looking forward to growing up and being able to do things like drive, drink, legally watch porn, etc. In my opinion, there are two types of nostalgia. One is based on friendships and fun happenstances, and one is based on traditions.
My overall nostalgia has been worse than ever this year. Not because I'm not happy right now, because I am extremely happy right now. But because I know that I'm moving to a completely different place in my life, and I'm going to go there and look back fondly on the good times I'm having in the present. So, essentially, I'm getting pre-nostalgic. Which is fine because I won't take as many things for granted.
Mostly when I think back and reminisce on good times, it's because of fun people in my life. Usually those people are gone from my life before I even have a chance to appreciate them. My cousins, Angie, my rugby guy friends in college, my college roommates, Catharine, Doug (I really regret not hanging out with Doug more, especially since he invited me to things constantly when he lived here), Cindy, Adam, Ben, etc.
I've gotten closer to the people I work with currently, and I know for a fact I'm going to miss all of them when I'm gone. Some I'll miss more than others, like Andrew. He's one of my closest friends at this point in my life and I'm trying to actively appreciate our friendship before I leave, because I know it'll change once I'm gone, like all the rest. It sucks because once you make good, solid friendships, they seem to end. And I don't mean end literally, but when you move away, it always changes things. I suppose if I was less of a gypsy it would happen less, so maybe when I'm 35 and settled in one spot, I'll stop the extreme nostalgia.
Another reason it happens is because of traditions, like Christmas. You celebrate something the same way year after year, and of course your brain is going to automatically think back to previous years of doing the same stuff, and how it seemed much cooler. Some people don't really do the tradition thing, but being from an Italian Catholic family, I am steeped in tradition. This year will be the first year that I won't be doing the exact same thing I'd been doing for 20 years before, and my mom is giving me guilt trips about it. But I remind her that I'm 25 (which I have to do constantly) and she lets it go eventually.
When I think back to being a kid and celebrating Christmas Easter, Halloween, my birthday, it seems like it was so much greater than it is now. Well obviously that is because there wasn't the responsibility that exists at my age now. I'm sure that is why there are more suicides around holidays, because people are forced to think about the good times that used to exist, and how life is so much different now.
And if you haven't thought about it, take a minute and look at cultural references around you. How many movies, songs, and novels have strong elements of nostalgia? Last week I saw a production of The Magic Fire (about a woman looking back on her life as a child) and just now I heard Janis Ian's "At Seventeen" on my iTunes. I think that people would be happier if they didn't long for the past, but perhaps creativity would suffer.
And to give a quick update on my foot: I can walk normally now, fit into all of my shoes, and the incision at the top of my foot is all closed up. Plus it doesn't hurt at all! Here are a few pics to compare:
My overall nostalgia has been worse than ever this year. Not because I'm not happy right now, because I am extremely happy right now. But because I know that I'm moving to a completely different place in my life, and I'm going to go there and look back fondly on the good times I'm having in the present. So, essentially, I'm getting pre-nostalgic. Which is fine because I won't take as many things for granted.
Mostly when I think back and reminisce on good times, it's because of fun people in my life. Usually those people are gone from my life before I even have a chance to appreciate them. My cousins, Angie, my rugby guy friends in college, my college roommates, Catharine, Doug (I really regret not hanging out with Doug more, especially since he invited me to things constantly when he lived here), Cindy, Adam, Ben, etc.
I've gotten closer to the people I work with currently, and I know for a fact I'm going to miss all of them when I'm gone. Some I'll miss more than others, like Andrew. He's one of my closest friends at this point in my life and I'm trying to actively appreciate our friendship before I leave, because I know it'll change once I'm gone, like all the rest. It sucks because once you make good, solid friendships, they seem to end. And I don't mean end literally, but when you move away, it always changes things. I suppose if I was less of a gypsy it would happen less, so maybe when I'm 35 and settled in one spot, I'll stop the extreme nostalgia.
Another reason it happens is because of traditions, like Christmas. You celebrate something the same way year after year, and of course your brain is going to automatically think back to previous years of doing the same stuff, and how it seemed much cooler. Some people don't really do the tradition thing, but being from an Italian Catholic family, I am steeped in tradition. This year will be the first year that I won't be doing the exact same thing I'd been doing for 20 years before, and my mom is giving me guilt trips about it. But I remind her that I'm 25 (which I have to do constantly) and she lets it go eventually.
When I think back to being a kid and celebrating Christmas Easter, Halloween, my birthday, it seems like it was so much greater than it is now. Well obviously that is because there wasn't the responsibility that exists at my age now. I'm sure that is why there are more suicides around holidays, because people are forced to think about the good times that used to exist, and how life is so much different now.
And if you haven't thought about it, take a minute and look at cultural references around you. How many movies, songs, and novels have strong elements of nostalgia? Last week I saw a production of The Magic Fire (about a woman looking back on her life as a child) and just now I heard Janis Ian's "At Seventeen" on my iTunes. I think that people would be happier if they didn't long for the past, but perhaps creativity would suffer.
And to give a quick update on my foot: I can walk normally now, fit into all of my shoes, and the incision at the top of my foot is all closed up. Plus it doesn't hurt at all! Here are a few pics to compare:
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