Happenstance, Romance, and Gramps
Okay, another overnight, another blogging. I really don't think these overnight blogging sessions are such good ideas, since the first time I only talked about video games and the second time I only talked about Andrew. Let's see what I talk about tonight. First of all, I can barely hold my arms up on this counter to type because my arm muscles are so incredibly tired. I have a new "personal trainer" who will go unnamed and that is the reason why my arms are devoid of energy at this point.
So I FINALLY got to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I'd been wanting to watch it forever, it was on the list with Donnie Darko (which I saw a few months ago). After Eternal Sunshine ended I was like "...strange...." but it was intriguing. Also romantic, but not in a blatantly obvious sort of way, which I like. It made me want to dye my hair bright pink or red, however I think Michael would freak out and fire me or something. Jim Carrey...such a versitile actor. Kate Winslet...so good at American accents. The others were okay too. I tend to dislike Kirsten Dunst, but she made me laugh in this movie. All around a good original film.
Angela and I re-watched our favorite scenes of Love Actually tonight (or...last night I guess since it is 4:15 am right now) and I just can't get over this one scene. Nobody else finds the scene especially important to their viewing needs, but I think it's one of my favorite scenes in any film. It deals with a girl who goes to visit her husband's best friend at his house so she could see a video of their wedding.
I guess I'll just spoil it (I'll be like IMDB: *WARNING: SPOILERS*) and say that the husband's best friend is secretly in love with the girl (the wife, though she's 19 irl and I don't want to call her that). He is mean to her all the time and she doesn't know why they don't get along, and throughout the first part of the film he is actually made out to the viewers to seem gay and in love with his friend. In this scene he scrambles around his apt trying to ward the wife away from the wedding video (uhhh...I don't think I have it, I taped over it) but she finds it and watches it. The entire video is of her face. Nothing else of the rest of the wedding. It seems kinda creepy but the look on his face, so mortified, and her confusion and then realization...it's so cute to me. She says to him "..but you didn't liked me. You never even talked to me!" And he says "..yes...well...it's a self-preservation thing." Then we see him walk out the door and down the street while Dido's "Here with Me" (an amazing song) is playing as he looks utterly frustrated.
Don't ask me why I think that scene is amazing, I think everyone has different views on cute romantic things. I think things are the most romantic when it's something that the other person finds out about on accident. I guess it is more real to me that way. If someone says something you can't always believe that what they're saying is true. However if you find out from another family member that the person has talked about you a lot to them, or something else along those lines, it seems like it's for real. Actions speak louder than words I guess? Maybe that's why I like the scene so much. Not that I don't trust what significant others say to me, it's just different.
On to the next topic. I believe I am PMSing hardcore this week. I have been extremely moody and crying occasionally for no reason, like this morning driving my car. I don't really want to do any activity that requires generous amounts of energy (excluding sex) and I am yelling at friends (sorry Charles). However, I have found that the symptoms decrease dramatically around Andrew, which is good. I am hoping that whatever the hell is wrong with me is due to my extreme levels of hormones in my system and not due to me still having problems with my grandpa's death. I know that is random, but it is the holiday season and every time I think about christmas carols or Christmas Eve I think of him. When I was little he'd come over for Christmas day breakfast and I'd play a record of "Dominic the Donkey" (since his name was Dominic) and he'd laugh and pretend to be mad that I associated him with a donkey. When I got older, up until last Christmas, my job was to make the pancakes for the breakfast. My mom made 2 different kinds of quiches from scratch and a bunch of other stuff, but grandpa Dom always looked forward to my pancakes the most and told me they were the best he'd ever had every year. On Christmas Eve when my cousins and I were little, he'd sneak down to the basement and hide presents, pretending to be Santa. Then he'd come upstairs and say "I think Santa came!!!" and we'd all rush downstairs to get our presents, then we'd dance around the player piano.
There are sooooo many other just amazing memories involving him for me to think about, but I'm starting to tear up again and since I'm at work and Catharine is sitting next to me, it might be kind of strange. This is the first Christmas without him here, it is also the first death I've EVER had to deal with. Dealing with your first important death when you're 21 is really annoying. I still need some practice at this dealing thing, and at this time of year it's kind of excruciating. I just know it has to be so much harder for my mom, and that makes it even worse.
I'm gonna try to stop writing stuff about my grandpa being dead and everything b/c I know it's annoying, but it kinda helps to talk about it on here. I don't think many people realize what a truly amazing human being he was and how fucking hard it is to let him go.
So I FINALLY got to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I'd been wanting to watch it forever, it was on the list with Donnie Darko (which I saw a few months ago). After Eternal Sunshine ended I was like "...strange...." but it was intriguing. Also romantic, but not in a blatantly obvious sort of way, which I like. It made me want to dye my hair bright pink or red, however I think Michael would freak out and fire me or something. Jim Carrey...such a versitile actor. Kate Winslet...so good at American accents. The others were okay too. I tend to dislike Kirsten Dunst, but she made me laugh in this movie. All around a good original film.
Angela and I re-watched our favorite scenes of Love Actually tonight (or...last night I guess since it is 4:15 am right now) and I just can't get over this one scene. Nobody else finds the scene especially important to their viewing needs, but I think it's one of my favorite scenes in any film. It deals with a girl who goes to visit her husband's best friend at his house so she could see a video of their wedding.
I guess I'll just spoil it (I'll be like IMDB: *WARNING: SPOILERS*) and say that the husband's best friend is secretly in love with the girl (the wife, though she's 19 irl and I don't want to call her that). He is mean to her all the time and she doesn't know why they don't get along, and throughout the first part of the film he is actually made out to the viewers to seem gay and in love with his friend. In this scene he scrambles around his apt trying to ward the wife away from the wedding video (uhhh...I don't think I have it, I taped over it) but she finds it and watches it. The entire video is of her face. Nothing else of the rest of the wedding. It seems kinda creepy but the look on his face, so mortified, and her confusion and then realization...it's so cute to me. She says to him "..but you didn't liked me. You never even talked to me!" And he says "..yes...well...it's a self-preservation thing." Then we see him walk out the door and down the street while Dido's "Here with Me" (an amazing song) is playing as he looks utterly frustrated.
Don't ask me why I think that scene is amazing, I think everyone has different views on cute romantic things. I think things are the most romantic when it's something that the other person finds out about on accident. I guess it is more real to me that way. If someone says something you can't always believe that what they're saying is true. However if you find out from another family member that the person has talked about you a lot to them, or something else along those lines, it seems like it's for real. Actions speak louder than words I guess? Maybe that's why I like the scene so much. Not that I don't trust what significant others say to me, it's just different.
On to the next topic. I believe I am PMSing hardcore this week. I have been extremely moody and crying occasionally for no reason, like this morning driving my car. I don't really want to do any activity that requires generous amounts of energy (excluding sex) and I am yelling at friends (sorry Charles). However, I have found that the symptoms decrease dramatically around Andrew, which is good. I am hoping that whatever the hell is wrong with me is due to my extreme levels of hormones in my system and not due to me still having problems with my grandpa's death. I know that is random, but it is the holiday season and every time I think about christmas carols or Christmas Eve I think of him. When I was little he'd come over for Christmas day breakfast and I'd play a record of "Dominic the Donkey" (since his name was Dominic) and he'd laugh and pretend to be mad that I associated him with a donkey. When I got older, up until last Christmas, my job was to make the pancakes for the breakfast. My mom made 2 different kinds of quiches from scratch and a bunch of other stuff, but grandpa Dom always looked forward to my pancakes the most and told me they were the best he'd ever had every year. On Christmas Eve when my cousins and I were little, he'd sneak down to the basement and hide presents, pretending to be Santa. Then he'd come upstairs and say "I think Santa came!!!" and we'd all rush downstairs to get our presents, then we'd dance around the player piano.
There are sooooo many other just amazing memories involving him for me to think about, but I'm starting to tear up again and since I'm at work and Catharine is sitting next to me, it might be kind of strange. This is the first Christmas without him here, it is also the first death I've EVER had to deal with. Dealing with your first important death when you're 21 is really annoying. I still need some practice at this dealing thing, and at this time of year it's kind of excruciating. I just know it has to be so much harder for my mom, and that makes it even worse.
I'm gonna try to stop writing stuff about my grandpa being dead and everything b/c I know it's annoying, but it kinda helps to talk about it on here. I don't think many people realize what a truly amazing human being he was and how fucking hard it is to let him go.
I know I put this in here before, but in case anyone actually wants to know who I'm talking about: http://www.fltimes.com/main.asp?Search=1&ArticleID=4096&SectionID=38&SubSectionID=121&S=1
Well it's now 6 am, some of the subjects will be waking soon and I should skeedaddle. As always, thanks for listening.
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